This is not by any means me complaining about my life for if it were I would be punishable by a life ending lightning bolt or a swift striking down by a SUV due to a unalert driver  and deservingly so as i have very few things in my current life to complain about. It’s safe to say that my life has never been better. I have 3 jobs, a house full of awesome roommates, a dope, highly sexual girlfriend that supports and cares for me deeply, and rent has been paid for the rest of this month. Some if not all these things seem somewhat shallow to me upon typing them down but it is these areas of my life that  I have long struggled with the most in the past so fuck yeah I am pretty happy.
  I am although not entirely happy with myself at the same time as i’ve drifted away from school for what i fear to be the pursuit of money and job security and in doing so have abandoned 1.Learning regularily and 2. my craft: drawing and creating. I find myself working so much that in my spare time i spend it with my boys or my fair lady but leave no time for myself nor the muses in which i do all this work for. I only took school off becuase i thought it would be nice to support myself with work to pay for rent and groceries and than fill up the rest of my time and left over mula for art supplies and the making of art. I haven’t though and it upsets me deeply inside. I want to complain to those i hold closest about this manner but do not or do so but lightly with little genuine anguish because honestly, how petty does that sound “UGH im so busy working and hanging out i dont even get to sit down and draw anymore…” that’s some serious #orangelantern #larfleezeSteeze and I’m just not down with that. That is exactly how i feel though. +3. Despite having my phone bill paid and unlimited mobile internet i still struggle to stay connected with family and old friends. I feel as though i require far more hours in the day than the solar cycle is willing to give me. I need to chill, I need to get my shit together.

Im conceiving a LyfeStyle in a somewhat regularly scheduled form. One month for socializing, partying, making memories & etc, while the next month is in Hermit-Mode where i save my money, spend my weekends and nights indoors, at home, infront of my desk working away with incents burning and tea steaping. I need to find balance. 

and now my head hurts.