The dark cloud of sadness that’s been hanging over my head since the end of April has finally lightened a bit.

Throughout this episode I found myself either triggered or ruminating on individual nuggets of old emotional scars.

Things like my familial background, childhood upbringing, and sense of self worth amongst other issues bubbled to the front of my mind in a way that was impossible to ignore.

At first I wasn’t sure why these things were coming up for me as I’ve previously processed each one individually.

It wasn’t until after I allowed myself to feel the emotions instead of trying to control them did I understand more clearly.

I’ve recognized that the person I’ve been cultivating and developing- their identity directly conflicts with who I’ve been up until now. This has forced me to reckon with how I see myself and the beliefs I hold in that regard.

With understanding that it’s been easier to navigate these thoughts and emotions with more grace and kindness.

Now it’s a matter of confronting those old beliefs and laying down the groundwork to replace them with those that are more aligned with who I am and what I’m trying to accomplish.